What does it mean to love?

I had a late night conversation about the "act of love".
Ok. ok - not THE act of love. (I would have simply titled my entry as “phone sex” in that case)

What does it mean to love someone? And how do you love someone in the right way? Everyone speaks/acts out love differently – there are too many self-help books out there to ignore this theory.
The theory holds strong validity in all kinds of love. It applies to lovers, family members, friends and anyone to whom you say, "I love you".
Even my mother and I have had a long time (about thirty some years) struggle about loving each other properly and expressing it in a right way where we don’t offend each other.

The late night conversation included a story - about a young boy who watered his tired horse too much and ended up killing the horse. Before I write about this, I had to google it and gather some info. (I’d hate to let a false information hang loosely on my blog) Apparently, horses are sensitive to how much water they drink. Usually, they need plenty of water as more than 50% of their large bodies are of water. However, when a horse’s body is “hot”, meaning - immediately after a hard work for the horse, excessive water can be lethal. One needs to wait until the horse’s breathing is back to normal and it’s body temperature drops back before letting it drink water to its content.

The young boy’s action of letting the horse drink too much water is an act of love. It was done out of concern and care for the horse. It was an act of love with great consequences, due to a lack of knowledge and communication about the horse’s needs.

Have I ever over-watered my horse before? Of course – in hindsight, I’m sure I’ve over*done a lot of things.
I’ve certainly been the boy, and the horse, in a relationship.
As I was listening to the story, I began to think….GOSH…is he telling me I’m the boy? Am I feeding him too much water? I started to panic and get defensive. I’m the horse here! May be you are over feeding ME!!!

If my intent of love is genuine, but the result is chaotic, is it not love?
This thought began to bother me a lot.
In philosophical questions, a premise and conclusion cannot include any undefined maxim. Assuming that defining love, and the act of love, is a philosophical question; is such a definition even possible to draw, and with what kind of pre-condition and pre-assumptions?

Should each relationship, then, be defined by its owners? If so, when? When is it EVER a good time? If it’s love for REAL, do we need to define it? Shouldn’t it just *FEEL right?

I'm confused.
Big time.